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An Attempt to Finish Edwin Drood in Bulletpoints

February 2, 2012

What follows is admittedly ridiculous, but here it goes:

  • Princes Puffer attempts to blackmail Jasper, which results in her murder. Jasper sticks her body in the crypt with Edwin’s.
  • Datchery notices the sudden disappearance of Puffer… consults Crisparkle.
  • Jasper becomes increasingly obsessed with Neville …. and then murders him by pushing him out the window. He hopes this will look like suicide.
  • The mesmeric link between Neville and Helena continues despite Neville’s death. Neville communicates the details of his death to his sister.
  • Jasper learns of the missing ring and attempts to exhume Edwin’s corpse.
  • Durdle follows Jasper and discovers his secret. Durdle then sends Deputy to retrieve Mr. Crisparkle, as Helena is trying to convince Crisparkle that she has been contacted by Neville’s ghost. Datchery, ever the mystery, is mysteriously present (turns out he’s been hired Grewgious)….. Tartar and Rosa are also present.
  • They rush to arrest Jasper. Jasper slashes his way through the group and makes a run for it…. finally driven totally insane, Jasper hurls himself into the river (with the ring still on his person).
  • The remains of Edwin are properly buried (as are Puffers).
  • Rosa and Tartar get married.
  • Both events naturally take place at the cathedral (though not at the same time)…. camera pans up and over the cathedral spires. Fin.

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